Breast cancer, Pre surgery

The day before surgery

I had been anxiously awaiting the surgery date and finally, the day came – March 3. I had to check in the night before so I packed my bags before going to work that day. It was a busy day at the office as I had to finish off everything and it took my mind away from the surgery.

I requested for a nice dinner out with my hubby and daughter , knowing hospital food wouldn’t be good , so we ate at a new Japanese restaurant – I felt, like the “last supper”. Of course my 10-year old daughter knew nothing except I had to be admitted for some “tests and procedures”. It’s a good thing she didn’t question much.

So, admissions is 24 hours , we could check in any time the night before. No preparations were required. Although the days before I made sure to take my usual vitamins and added extra vitamin c to boost immune system. I exercised more than usual (3x a week instead of 1x) to make my body strong and I continued to eat healthy (no fatty foods , no sweets, less rice, more fruits and veggies ).

I also tried to get enough sleep but there I failed. Although I was not worried about the surgery , it seemed that I was subconsciously worried because twice I got anxiety attacks- I couldn’t sleep , had palpitations , the one time with blood pressure shooting to 170, and the other time I recalled images of an operating room so I figured it was about the operation . So, even if not outwardly or consciously aware of it, seemed I did have subconscious worry and anxiety about it.

It was no different sleeping in the hospital that night before. My husband had gone home because I took pity on him sleeping on the pull out chair with his feet dangling out so I sent him home since I was still ok. I figured better he reserve his energy for the next few nights. The tv of the room beside mine was blaring until 2am and I blamed that for my inability to sleep . But even at 3am without such sounds, I was still awake , so I listened to some soothing music and before I knew it it was 5pm. I had to have my last food and drink intake prior to 6am ( 7 hours before 1pm surgery ), so they brought in the food but I just ate melon and a banana I brought .

I then took a shower because they were about to connect my iv. Last supper, last breakfast , last shower. Sure I knew I had high survival chances but there’s always this tiny thought saying – what if you don’t wake up, there is always that risk.